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MORE- Ask a Guy: When a Guy Doesn’t Text Back Guys don’t think about relationships as often as women do. It doesn’t mean they don’t care; it’s just not a central point of focus.Countless studies have shown that women primarily gain their sense of worth and self-esteem through their interpersonal relationships while men measure their worth based on their ability to have an impact in the world and contribute in a meaningful way.If a man is at work, then that is the sole center of his world and nothing exists outside of that.The fact that a man doesn’t text you as much or as often as you’d like doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you – he’s usually just focusing on something else and most men have a difficult time seeing beyond a given task at hand.Women get so tripped up in relationships by honing in on the words while it’s really the actions that say it all.If he is there for you, if he is considerate of you, if he goes out of his way for you, if he opens up to you, he loves you. Look, I don’t think I’m making any radical claims by saying men are the less communicative of the two genders.After some time has passed and the relationship is a bit more established, this urge isn’t as pressing and it begins to feel like work.
We get a lot of questions that go something like: “I’m really confused, my boyfriend says he’s crazy about me and I’m the most amazing/wonderful/smart/funny/etc girl he’s ever dated but he always blows me off and he can’t hang out and doesn’t have time to talk on the phone or text back or take me out on dates and I really only see him late at night when he feels like it.” OK, maybe not exactly like that, but close enough.
The opposite is also true: a guy may be saying something with his words and instead, express how he’s feeling through actions.
For instance, let’s say a woman is in a truly amazing relationship and the only problem is her man has yet to say those three not-so-little words.
The really sad/funny thing is that men have NO idea how intensely their texting habits are being scrutinized. There are all kinds of reasons why this is such an issue for women and why men are so oblivious to it – reasons we’ve discussed at length in previous articles– but the takeaway is that this whole thing is a non-issue for men. Yeah, they’ll text a lot in the beginning when they’re trying to win you over, but it’s not sustainable or realistic to continue at that level indefinitely.
In the beginning, it’s all new and fresh and if he’s really into you he will be thinking about you a lot and will feel the urge to text you frequently.